Political Genius.

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Today has been… AMAZING. OVERWHELMING. INSPIRING!

I’ve used more Kleenex on this day than I have since my last cold.

Who knew that election results could make me shed tears of joy?

WOW.

Rather than bore you with lame attempts to capture my thoughts & sentiments at this moment, I’ll share with you a few of my favorite Victory Day posts.

Enjoy. Keep the faith. Never say “impossible” again!

From Illustrator Patrick Moberg:

From a citizen in Turtle Creek, PA:

I have a confession to make.

I did not vote for Barack Obama today.

I’ve openly supported Obama since March.  But I didn’t vote for him today.

I wanted to vote for Ronald Woods. He was my algebra teacher at Clark Junior High in East St. Louis, IL.  He died 15 years ago when his truck skidded head-first into a utility pole.  He spent many a day teaching us many things besides the Pythagorean Theorem.  He taught us about Medgar Evers, Ralph Abernathy, John Lewis and many other civil rights figures who get lost in the shadow cast by Martin Luther King, Jr.

But I didn’t vote for Mr. Woods.

I wanted to vote for Willie Mae Cross. She owned and operated Crossroads Preparatory Academy for almost 30 years, educating and empowering thousands of kids before her death in 2003.  I was her first student.  She gave me my first job, teaching chess and math concepts to kids in grades K-4 in her summer program.  She was always there for advice, cheer and consolation.  Ms. Cross, in her own way, taught me more about walking in faith than anyone else I ever knew.

But I didn’t vote for Ms. Cross.

I wanted to vote for Arthur Mells Jackson, Sr. and Jr. Jackson Senior was a Latin professor.  He has a gifted school named for him in my hometown.  Jackson Junior was the pre-eminent physician in my hometown for over 30 years.  He has a heliport named for him at a hospital in my hometown.  They were my great-grandfather and great-uncle, respectively.

But I didn’t vote for Prof. Jackson or Dr. Jackson.

I wanted to vote for A.B. Palmer. She was a leading civil rights figure in Shreveport, Louisiana, where my mother grew up and where I still have dozens of family members.  She was a strong-willed woman who earned the grudging respect of the town’s leaders because she never, ever backed down from anyone and always gave better than she got.  She lived to the ripe old age of 99, and has a community center named for her in Shreveport.

But I didn’t vote for Mrs. Palmer.

I wanted to vote for these people, who did not live to see a day where a Black man would appear on their ballots on a crisp November morning.

In the end, though, I realized that I could not vote for them any more than I could vote for Obama himself.

So who did I vote for?

No one.

I didn’t vote.  Not for President, anyway.

Oh, I went to the voting booth.  I signed, was given my stub, and was walked over to a voting machine.  I cast votes for statewide races and a state referendum on water and sewer improvements.

I stood there, and I thought about all of these people, who influenced my life so greatly.  But I didn’t vote for who would be the 44th President of the United States.

When my ballot was complete, except for the top line, I finally decided who I was going to vote for - and then decided to let him vote for me.  I reached down, picked him up, and told him to find Obama’s name on the screen and touch it.

And so it came to pass that Alexander Reed, age 5, read the voting screen, found the right candidate, touched his name, and actually cast a vote for Barack Obama and Joe Biden.

Oh, the vote will be recorded as mine.  But I didn’t cast it.

Then again, the person who actually pressed the Obama box and the red “vote” button was the person I was really voting for all along.

It made the months of donating, phonebanking, canvassing, door hanger distributing, sign posting, blogging, arguing and persuading so much sweeter.

So, no, I didn’t vote for Barack Obama.  I voted for a boy who now has every reason to believe he, too, can grow up to be anything he wants…even President.


From The Onion:

Nation Finally Shitty Enough To Make Social Progress

November 5, 2008 | Issue 44•45

WASHINGTON—After emerging victorious from one of the most pivotal elections in history, president-elect Barack Obama will assume the role of commander in chief on Jan. 20, shattering a racial barrier the United States is, at long last, shitty enough to overcome.

And my favorite excerpt from this article:

Carrying a majority of the popular vote, Obama did especially well among women and young voters, who polls showed were particularly sensitive to the current climate of everything being fucked.

Sad, but true.

Read the full article here >

And last, but hardly least… from Barack Obama, 44th President of these United States:

If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible, who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time, who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer.

This is your victory.

The road ahead will be long. Our climb will be steep. We may not get there in one year or even in one term. But, America, I have never been more hopeful than I am tonight that we will get there. I promise you, we as a people will get there.

I will listen to you, especially when we disagree.

And, above all, I will ask you to join in the work of remaking this nation, the only way it’s been done in America for 221 years — block by block, brick by brick, calloused hand by calloused hand.

Let’s remember that it was a man from this state who first carried the banner of the Republican Party to the White House, a party founded on the values of self-reliance and individual liberty and national unity. Those are values that we all share. And while the Democratic Party has won a great victory tonight, we do so with a measure of humility and determination to heal the divides that have held back our progress.

As Lincoln said to a nation far more divided than ours, we are not enemies but friends. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection.

And to those Americans whose support I have yet to earn, I may not have won your vote tonight, but I hear your voices. I need your help. And I will be your president, too. And to all those watching tonight from beyond our shores, from parliaments and palaces, to those who are huddled around radios in the forgotten corners of the world, our stories are singular, but our destiny is shared, and a new dawn of American leadership is at hand.

This election had many firsts and many stories that will be told for generations. But one that’s on my mind tonight’s about a woman who cast her ballot in Atlanta. She’s a lot like the millions of others who stood in line to make their voice heard in this election except for one thing: Ann Nixon Cooper is 106 years old.

She was born just a generation past slavery; a time when there were no cars on the road or planes in the sky; when someone like her couldn’t vote for two reasons — because she was a woman and because of the color of her skin.

And tonight, I think about all that she’s seen throughout her century in America — the heartache and the hope; the struggle and the progress; the times we were told that we can’t, and the people who pressed on with that American creed: Yes we can.

At a time when women’s voices were silenced and their hopes dismissed, she lived to see them stand up and speak out and reach for the ballot. Yes we can.

When there was despair in the dust bowl and depression across the land, she saw a nation conquer fear itself with a New Deal, new jobs, a new sense of common purpose. Yes we can.

When the bombs fell on our harbor and tyranny threatened the world, she was there to witness a generation rise to greatness and a democracy was saved. Yes we can.

She was there for the buses in Montgomery, the hoses in Birmingham, a bridge in Selma, and a preacher from Atlanta who told a people that “We Shall Overcome.” Yes we can.

A man touched down on the moon, a wall came down in Berlin, a world was connected by our own science and imagination. And this year, in this election, she touched her finger to a screen, and cast her vote, because after 106 years in America, through the best of times and the darkest of hours, she knows how America can change. Yes we can.

America, we have come so far. We have seen so much. But there is so much more to do. So tonight, let us ask ourselves — if our children should live to see the next century; if my daughters should be so lucky to live as long as Ann Nixon Cooper, what change will they see?

What progress will we have made?

This is our chance to answer that call. This is our moment.

This is our time, to put our people back to work and open doors of opportunity for our kids; to restore prosperity and promote the cause of peace; to reclaim the American dream and reaffirm that fundamental truth, that, out of many, we are one; that while we breathe, we hope. And where we are met with cynicism and doubts and those who tell us that we can’t, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people: Yes, we can.

Thank you. God bless you. And may God bless the United States of America.

More social media “hype”

No time to share much Genius today… too much excitement around the TechCrunch article highlighting Viximo’s turnkey virtual goods solution as a “massive monetization opportunity” and the growing excitement around the launch of our first iPhone apps.

But I couldn’t resist sharing some fresh data in support of all the recent “social media hype”.

And so… at the risk of further alienating the readers who told me “social media is a crock” earlier this month, called me “warped,” and threatened to bite me (you KNOW who you are!)… I present you with these tasty nuggets:

  • 3/4 of US online adults now use social tools to connect with each other (compared with just 56% in 2007). On average, they spend one hour per week using these tools; however, 19% [and growing] are averaging 7 HOURS PER WEEK. [source: Forrester Research, October 2008]
  • 75% of Fortune 1000 companies with Web sites will have undertaken some kind of online social-networking initiative for marketing or customer relations purposes in the next year. [source: Gartner, October 2008]

But don’t take it from me, take a peek at Shiv Singh’s (former colleague and current VP, Social Media, Razorfish) presentation deck from the recent Publisher’s Summit, which dives deeper into what marketers should know as the social media landscape shifts [and evolves!] around them.

When you’re done with that, hop over to Pete Kim’s blog (also a former colleague from Razorfish. Coincidence???) where he’s curating The Mother of All Lists of corporate SMM efforts (not to be confused with corporate S&M efforts. That’s a different blog). I suspect that curating this list will become a full-time job for a team of many in the not-too-distant future.

But then, I’ve been drinking “seriously poisoned Kool-Aid.” Ahem.

If you’ve arrived here quite by accident and are feeling cold, confused, and alone, I might suggest you start at the beginning—with a quickie tutorial on just what the f*ck this whole social media thing is (brought to you by Yours Truly).

Or, you could continue to bury your head in the sand. Your choice, tots!

Bloody brilliant!

I’m not a big fan of serial killers—or TV shows that glorify them—but I can & do appreciate a guerrilla marketing campaign that’s totally killer ;). And this one is.

Brought to you by the same Geniuses who used custom-made fountains spitting fake blood to promote last season’s Dexter premier, this display of Dexter-ous marketing featured fake “pop-up” newsstands (in high-traffic spots like Central Park, outside LA’s Kodak Theater, and San Francisco’s Union square) filled with mock issues of major mags like GQ, Rolling Stone, and The New Yorker, all featuring Dexter, of course, as the cover Babe, and clever headlines like “Killer Tips” and “He’s Got a Way With Murder”.

To complete the blood-curdling experience, each newsstand carried snacks exclusively wrapped in—what else?—blood-red packaging.

Clever? Yes. But did this [literally] outside-the-box campaign yield equally noticeable results?

Apparently so. Media Bistro reports that the ratings for the show’s season premiere were up 21% over last year’s—making it the most-watched premiere of a drama on the network since 2004.

In a world of media-and-advertising-oversaturation, I’d say that’s a bloody good outcome!

You’d. Better. VOTE (for Obama)!!!!!!!

I just finished reading GOOD Magazine’s Election Issue, in which they present “1565 Reasons to Vote”—a clever, compelling, and reasonably unbiased look at the excuses people make for not voting—and the CRUCIAL importance of bucking that trend on November 4, 2008.

Generous Genius that I am, I thought I’d share a few highlights…

Reason 101:
20% of NYU students polled recently said they’d give up their right to vote in 2008 for an iPod Touch. A f**king iPod Touch.

Reason 784:
You voted for Prom Queen in high school. Ditto season 2 of American Idol.

Reason 963:
Your polling place is really easy to find: vote411.org

[Not to harp on American Idol, but…] Reason 1281:
Because it’s a slightly more important vote than the next American Idol.

Reason 1283:
Former musician and full-time Whack Job Ted Nugent recently penned a “Teditorial” titled “Sarah Palin is My Girl.” Didn’t see that one coming, did ya?

Reason 1544:
“Not because it’s cool, because it’s not. You know what’s cool? Smoking. Smoke while you vote.” – Jon Stewart

Reason 1524:
The average white man born in 1936 had a life expectancy of 58 years. John McCain was born in 1936. Um… he’s 72.

Reason 1559:
The seemingly important choices you make on other days in November—should I have more turkey?—are pretty trite by comparison.

And my mostest favoritest reason of all, brought to you by none other than Oscar the Grouch:

“Vote for the things you believe in—like trash, the freedom to stink and the unalienable right to annoy people!”

YEAH!

Kidding aside, THE ONLY LEGITIMATE EXCUSE ANY ELIGIBLE AMERICAN SHOULD HAVE FOR NOT VOTING IN THIS YEAR’S MUY IMPORTANTE ELECTION IS, “I WAS DEAD.” !!!!!!!

Even giving birth on election day is not a legitimate excuse, sorry. After all, you could drop by the polling place during early labor or vote by absentee ballot. Right?

Seriously, people. Have you seen what’s going on out there?

There’s this:

And this:

And don’t even get me started on issues like education, health care, or the environment.

I’ll be blunt: The Bush Administration has f**ked this country and good. Undeniably the worst president in US history, Dubs is living proof that idiots and “mavericks” shouldn’t run the country. His legacy in office has brought our economy, our environment, our educational system, our freedom, and our future TO ITS KNEES.

Please, oh, please don’t sit on your hiney next month and let the dumb-dumbs that are afraid of a black man taking the Oval Office perpetuate the same self-serving, misguided, irresponsible decision-making that has gotten us into this mess.

It’s time for change. BIG, REAL change. Change for the better.

It’s time for us ALL to vote for Barack Obama.

I’ll complete my resounding endorsement for Obama by sharing a quote from author Michael Pollan that I think quite eloquently states the situation we are in—and the most compelling reason for you to vote for Obama on November 4th:

“Over the past eight years, the government has taken steps to radically curtail our liberties and erode some of the bedrock principles of our republic—from undermining habeas corpus to conducting torture in our name. To decline to vote is to tacitly accept the administration’s redefinition of the republic; to vote for a new government this fall is to reject the project and, we can hope, begin to roll it back.”

See you at the polls.

You want me to blog about you? Okay, sure.

In response to the weekly deluge of soft (and sometimes hard) product pitches that the Genius has been receiving lately, I’ve decided to once again whore myself out for the Greater Good. No, not the old fashioned way, dirtball.

What I mean is this:

Rather than saying “no” to virtually every request I get to “review” a product or “comment” on a brand, I am going to start saying yes, effective immediately, to those products/services/brands that agree to donate $100 to Doctors Without Borders (one of my most beloved nonprofit organizations).

I’m calling it the “Blog About Me” Program (clever, no?)

Why would a company pay $100 to have me blog about them?

ARE YOU KIDDING????

One blogger can reach more people with one post than the weekend edition of USA Today.

Now I’m not claiming to be more influential than USA Today, but, as I’ve pointed out previously… I’m kind of a big deal. People know me. My apartment smells of rich mahogany… and I have many leather-bound books.

Ok, but seriously. The Network Effect is HUGE.

According to LinkedIn, I’m connected to nearly 6,000,000. And while they don’t all read my blog, a good number do. Add in my connections on Twitter and Facebook (the other 2 social media tools that I use most frequently), and you’ve got access to virtually everyone on the planet. Even Kevin Bacon ;).

So what exactly does that $100 “buy” you?

Doctors Without Borders says that $100 buys infection-fighting antibiotics to treat nearly 40 wounded children. Or vaccinations for 100 people against meningitis, measles, polio, or other deadly epidemics.  Or two high-energy meals a day for nearly 500 children.

And that same $100 guarantees that I will spend time getting to know your product/company, and then… I’ll blog about it. I’ll Tweet about it. I’ll share it with my friends on Facebook and LinkedIn. I might even send out a good ole fashioned email, if that sort of ‘old school’ communication is warranted.

In other words, $100 ensures that conversations will be started. They’ll travel. And in the meantime, you’ll be making a tax-deductible contribution to an extremely worthy cause.

Geez, when I put it that way, $100 seems like a go**amn bargain! Sign me up >>

A Few Words of Warning & One Disclaimer
Sorry, the lawyers insisted.

1. Lest there be any concerns about my profiting from this activity, I’ve set up the whole ‘donation thing’ via Firstgiving.com. The money you donate goes straight from your bank account to theirs. At the conclusion of this program, Firstgiving will send a check for 100% of the proceeds minus a nominal transaction processing fee, directly to each organization. Read more about Firstgiving here.

2. Lest there be any concerns about my objectivity in reviewing your product/service etc, allow me to assure you: I WON’T BE. This aint Consumer Reports, people, this is The Secret Diary of a Bonafide Marketing Genius. I tell it like I see it. If your product sucks, I’ll say so. Which leads me to my next point…

3. If your product sucks, I suggest you improve it before sending it my way. I will be merciless. I will poke fun. I promise. On the other hand, if your product kicks a**, I will sing its praises. Either way, the only thing I can promise you for sure is that I. Will. Be. Relentless. Either way, you will SO get your money’s worth.

4. The opinions expressed on this blog are SOLELY THE GENIUS’. They do not reflect those of my clients, colleagues, employers, relatives, friends, neighbors, or state/federal representatives. At least not as far as I know.

And now… let the whoring begin!

Why Traditional Advertising is Kinda F**ked (and what we should do about it!)

Attention brands, business owners, advertising agencies, and media peeps!!!!

I have some bad news. And it’s not about the financial markets, the election, or your expanding waistline. Nope—it’s far, far worse.

Are you sitting down? Good. Here it comes…

TRADITIONAL ADVERTISING IS IN A DEATH SPIRAL.

That’s right. DEATH SPIRAL.

Now before you freak and jump out a window (or worse—post nasty anonymous comments in reply to this statement), allow me to explain. And yes, to propose a solution… I am a Genius, after all.

Traditional Advertising’s “Death Spiral” can be attributed to 3 recent phenomena:
1.    Clutter
2.    Trust
3.    Social media

Let’s talk.

Clutter
I don’t know about you, but I hate clutter.

A little bit of nice, clean white space feels so much better.

If traditional ads were spaced like these last few paragraphs, they might actually WORK.

We might actually even ENJOY them.

But instead… most ads are more like this:
piledandsquishedrightontopofoneanothersothatwehardlyhaveachancetotakeabreath
letaloneprocessanyinformationordecodeanyoftheproductmysteriesorevaluatewhat
makesthembetterfastermoreeasiernewerDIFFERENTERorinanywaynecessarytoour
existenceonthisincreasinglyoverpopulatedplanet
GASPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!

Clear as mud? ☺

The worst part is that the Clutter Problem is escalating at a DEATH-SPIRAL-INDUCING rate.

Consider this:
In 1998 Google had an index of 25M pages. As of this summer, its index had hit the mind-blowing milestone of 1 TRILLION UNIQUE URLs.

A F**KING TRILLION!!!!!

Still more to consider:

There are >100,000,000 videos on YouTube.com—with >65k new ones being added DAILY.

In 2005 (most recent data I could find), there were roughly 40 BILLION product catalogs published. That’s equal to 134 catalogs for every man, woman & child in the US.

Yes, folks, the average person is exposed to some 3000 marketing messages per day… but the American Association of Advertising Agencies says we’re only able to absorb (at most!) 100.

And let’s face it, that’s probably an inflated number.

PS. 90% of people who can skip ads, do.

Yes, but most of those messages are crap. What matters is good creative. Killer copy. Pretty women with big boobs wiggling around to a HAWT soundtrack.

Ok… NO. Neither creative nor copy nor boobs—nor any combination of the three—are likely to solve the clutter problem. Besides… you’ve got 2 more hefty problems to solve.

Trust
“Lets talk about trust baby, let’s talk about you & me…”

People don’t trust advertisers. Period.

You know it. I know it. Let’s call a spade a spade and move on. But in case you’re still skeptical (or just plain crazy), here’s proof:

“In a 1998 Gallup poll rating honesty and ethical standards across a range of professions, advertising people ended up near the bottom, sandwiched between lawyers and car salesmen.”

SANDWICHED BETWEEN LAWYERS AND CAR SALESMEN, people!!!!! And perhaps, if we were to redo this poll today, they might change those to “Politicians and Pimps” (both of whom are better-dressed, frankly-speaking).

On the complete opposite end of the spectrum is the trust that most consumers have in the opinions of other consumers.

“‘Word-of-mouth’ the most powerful selling tool…78% of consumers say they trust the recommendation of other consumers.” - Nielsen, Trust in Advertising, 2007 Global Consumer Survey Report.

And the trend is particularly true among younger consumers—namely, the ¼ of the US population (ONE F**KING FOURTH!) who are 14-24yo and were born wired.

Raised in a time where “SPAM” and “COOKIE” don’t automatically conjure images of food, today’s youth LIVES and BREATHES online:

  • They spend >16 hours online/week (online > TV)
  • 56% spend >1 hour daily sending instant messages
  • ¼ prefer social networks to F2F time with friends
  • Have an average of 53 online friends (vs. 11 “close” friends)
  • 96% use a social network DAILY

And they don’t care about your ad, people. They care what their friends think.

Trust me. ;)

Social media
Ah… every traditional advertiser’s favorite topic! YAY! Let’s hug.

Seriously, now—it’s common knowledge that people don’t like intrusive, one-way conversations. What is traditional advertising but an intrusive, one-way conversation?

The paradigm is shifting. Fast. Hard.

Ahh… The Solution!

Should we make the logo bigger?

Craft a catchy new tag line?

More girls? Bigger boobs?

No, no, no, no, NO!

Traditional Advertising’s Terminal Illness (aka Death Spiral) shall not be cured by a larger helping of the Same Old Shi*t. You’re going to have think different. Act different. BE DIFFERENT.

REALLY DIFFERENT.

Start by shifting your focus more on branding and less on advertising. Yes, branding. That magical je ne sais quoi that ultimately results in the feelings/thoughts/attitudes that people have about your product/service/company.

You mean our tagline?
No.
Our logo?
No.
The killer copy on our website?
No.
…..Our tagline?
No.
Are you sure?
Yes.

Your brand isn’t what you say your company/product/service is. It’s what THEY say it is.

Branding isn’t advertising.

In fact, it’s more like… your child. You can’t control it (though it’s natural to want to try)… but you can [and should] certainly influence it, enable it, embrace it, and inspire it.

Start by listening. Really listening. No, REALLY listening.

There. Doesn’t that feel better already?

Virtual goods. Real revenue.

My newest startup adventure has seriously cut in to my blogging time lately… which means the 14 MILLION(!!!!!) people who faithfully hang on The Genius’ every word have been left cold, alone, and without even a teeny tiny Genius Snack upon which to nibble. [sigh]

Spanking for you, @viximo!

No, wait—scratch that. There will be no spankings for Viximo. They’d like that too much.

Instead, I will intentionally NOT talk them up to my legions of followers.

I wont mention the fact that they embody the Next Big Business Model or that they’re building the most kick-ass community of Rock Star design talent in the history of the world.

I wont glorify the notion that Viximo’s platform will enable online communities, gaming sites, virtual worlds, and others to generate hundreds of millions of dollars in revenue in the next 12 months alone.

I absolutely will NOT point out that Viximo is enabling major brands and ad agencies to connect with young consumers in an experiential, immersive way that builds brand loyalty, cranks the word-of-mouth engine, and *bonus!* even opens a new revenue stream.

And dammit I will NOT describe the opportunity that Viximo presents to online publishers, retailers, ad agencies, and interactive designers alike as a chance to drink from the udder of The Virtual Goods Cash Cow.

No f**king way.

For those of you scratching your heads, wondering what the f**k a virtual good is, well… I’m sorry, but I refuse to help. It’s not my place to explain that technically, virtual goods are nothing more than a series of 1s and 0s on your computer screen… or that those 1s and 0s collectively represent a $1.5 Billion market—that’s expected to exceed $7 Billion in less than 18 months.

I wont explain that virtual goods provide functional, expressive, and social value—or that they increase social interactions, and hence user engagement and time spent online.

I definitely wont point you to this article which projects that Facebook is expected to rake in $100 Million over the next 12 months—entirely through the sale of virtual gifts and myriad other virtual items (including my personal fav, food and gifts for my Fluff friend, Mar-Mar). Or this one, which celebrates Gaia and IMVU’s success generating $1M/month through the sale of virtual goods “ranging from puppy dogs to lightning bolts”.

I wouldn’t even consider bringing your attention to Second Life’s success with virtual goods ($80M annually), let alone that of our Asian friends like Nexon, which sells more Mini Coopers (virtual ones, of course) than BMW; or Habbo Hotel, which sells more furniture (virtual!) than IKEA.

Last but not least, I won’t bother regaling the efforts of retailers like Kohls, JCPenney, K-Swiss, and Sears, all of whom have celebrated notable success selling branded virtual goods on sites like Zwinky.com, Stardoll.com and others. I mean, really, who would be impressed by numbers like these:

•    2.2 million visits
•    1.8 million items sold
•    97,000 click-throughs to Kohls.com
•    ALL WITHIN THE FIRST 16 days!!!!

Clearly someone’s been drinking the Kool Aide.

But I digress… the reality is, I’m simply waaaaay too busy to spend precious time discussing any of this, and the fact is, it’s Viximo’s fault.

I’m sure they’ll regret this unfortunate [and awfully selfish] little faux pas. But in the meantime, I’m standing by my punishment.

Yes, rather than divulge even a hint of how HUGE Viximo is poised to become, I’ll say only this—they HAVE done ONE thing right: They were smart enough to hire a Bonafide Marketing Genius.

Even if they have been a little bit grabby during these first seven days.

Facebook: Power Tool or Sink-Hole? You decide.

I got this entertaining email a few months ago from a fellow marketer who is an admitted novice in the world of social media. He asks, in the simplest of terms, Whether Facebook is in fact A “Power Tool” or a “Black Hole” of Wasted Time.

-An excellent question that even the savviest among us has surely [at some point] asked!

I’ve been too busy dealing with idiots clients to get back to him, but I thought, perhaps sharing this with you all—you Geniuses-In-Waiting—would spark a healthy discussion.

And so… please, take a read:

Dear F**king Marketing Genius,

I have just voted for your f**cking presentation, which is, of course, f**cking genius. Plus, I’m forwarding it to a client of mine who’s asking about blogging, and will therefore make me look like a f**cking genius. Or maybe just an old F**ck. Which is what you’ll think if you read on…

One of the frameworks that helped me understand the power of social media is that of the many-to-many learning model. If I have a problem with my Mac (rarely, but it happens), I don’t go to the Mac website. I seek out other users online, and get an instant read not just on the problem and solution, but how to feel about it. How pissed off/happy should I feel about my computer problem/new feature? And who should I thank or say “f**ck u” to? There’s an emotional content as fellow consumer that’s very valuable here. I’m learning from a whole community, not just one bored academic who half-answers my question.

But try as I might, and this is a question for you, o marketing genius, there are some aspects of the SM thing I do not get. A friend of mine signed me up for Facebook. Okay, I’m game, I fought LinkedIn for a couple of years until it actually brought me some very lucrative contracts. So I joined Facebook, or “MyFace”, as I was calling it for awhile until some savvy sprite like you clued me in. Soon after, I started getting emails saying that so and so had bought me a cocktail, somebody else had bitten me, others gave me hugs and kisses. Not a real cocktail, mind you. A mocktail I couldn’t even drink. And, as far as I know, they actually did have to buy it. I think.

What is this? This isn’t the many-to-many learning model I thought would change the world. It’s using the vast power of the internet to waste my valuable time! I’ve heard about another site that allows you to record your every trivial moment for your friends and all eternity. There’s a guy over at MIT doing this, too. It’s like Bucky Fuller’s Dymaxion Chronofile gone crazy, which is sort of an oxymoron in the first place.

Anyway, O Marketing Genius, throw me a line. Give me a clue. Facebook? Why?

Yours in Perfidy and CussWords,

J.

Being the Genius that I am, I have plenty o’ answers to offer my pal J to his well-expressed question. But I’m curious… what do YOU think?

What value [if any] do you see in Facebook as a tool for connecting and engaging with your clients, customers, employees, colleagues, and friends? For building brand awareness? For building your business?

Or is it, as J worries, just another way to waste valuable time?

“Do 39% of Internet users REALLY subscribe to RSS feeds?” and other social media marketing myths dispelled

Today is the last official date for voting in the “World’s Best Presentation Contest” on SlideShare. (Speaking of which… if you haven’t yet voted for “What the F**K is Social Media?!”, DO IT NOW!!!)

Shameless self-promotion aside (but only for a minute), I thought this was a good time to address some of the questions and understandable skepticism that emerged in response to the not-so-subtle messages in said presentation.

So—let’s separate fact from fiction (or at least fact from hyperbole), shall we?

The first batch of “that can’t be right” criticism (and downright bitch-i-tude—you know who you are) was doled out in response to the following statements (from slides 11-16):

  • 73% of active online users have read a blog
  • 45% have started their own blog
  • 39% subscribe to an RSS feeds
  • 57% have joined a social network
  • 55% have uploaded photos
  • 83% have watched video clips

And now, for the shocking truth:
The Genius herself was more than a bit surprised by these numbers. You might even say they were the inspiration for the big ole “F**K!” that became the content of slide 46.

But the fact is, I didn’t pull them out of my cute little ass… they actually came from Universal McCann’s Comparative Study on Social Media Trends, April 2008, and they’re based on a series of surveys they conducted with over 17,000 respondents across 29 countries.

In Universal McCann’s own words:

“All surveys are self completion and the data collected is entirely quantitative. Every market is representative of the 16-54 Active Internet Universe. In this Wave 17,000 internet users in 29 countries were interviewed. To be included you need to be using the internet everyday or every other day.”

So, there!

The next pile of skeptical poo was flung at these juicy tidbits:

  • Only 18% of TV ad campaigns generate positive ROI
  • 90% of people who can skip TV ads, do.
  • Only 14% of people trust advertisements

And did these little beauties come from betwixt my perfectly peach-shaped buns?

Again—NO.

They came from a useful little book called Connected Marketing: The Viral, Buzz and Word of Mouth Revolution by Justin Kirby and Paul Marsden (buy a copy here).

Just for giggles, take a look at some of the other painfully compelling data you’ll find within its pages:

  • Average return in sales for every $1 spent on advertising: 54 cents!!!
  • The increase in TV advertising costs (CPM) in the past decade: 256%
  • Proportion of B2B marketing campaigns resulting in falling sales: 84%
  • The increase needed in advertising spend to add 1-2% in sales: 100%

Say it with me now: YIKES!!!!!!!!!!

Last but not least, a few people got their panties all in a bunch about the use of http://www.mystarbucksidea.com and the apparent lack of “real” case studies or ROI data.

[Here’s me rolling my eyes]

So, fine, I’ll satisfy your incessant and moderately annoying need for numbers by providing you with a few details on NikePlus.com (others to follow in future posts—maybe). If you want to learn more NOW, you’ll just have to hire me or invite me to speak at your next event.

Here goes:

The Genius Behind NikePlus.com!

Nike’s social media play did two things that most brands fall shamefully short on:

    1) They created a playground for anyone passionate about the activity enabled by the product (whether they owned Nike products or not)
    2) They enabled relationship-building with consumers who do own their product(s) that goes way beyond the initial purchase.

And here’s how they did it….

First, the smart folks at Nike recognized 3 simple things about their target audience:

    1. People who love to run, love to listen to music while running
    2. People who love to listen to music while running typically use an iPod to do so
    3. People who love to run like to measure and track their distance/time

Next, the smart folks at Nike created an online experience that caters directly to these three user objectives. They partnered with Apple to bring iTunes into the mix, offering celebrity running mixes (and a whole lot more), and developed products and online tools (like the ability to track runs, challenge other runners in the community, and engage in competitive events locally) that supported and enhanced the offline experience.

Since its launch in May 2006, the NikePlus.com community has not only grown but THRIVED, earning the brand a much-deserved Cannes Lions 2007 award and lots of positive press.

“But what about numbers? Where’s the ROI? WHERE’S THE BEEF?!”

Feast your eyes on this, my friends! As of February, 2008, Nike+ members have:

• Run over 50,000,000 miles
• Logged over 14,000,000 runs
• Issued over 450,000 challenges
• Created “the world’s largest running club” with >75,000,000 members!!!!!!

And here’s the crown jewel:

  • 40% of community members who didn’t own Nike+ ended up BUYING!
  • 94% of consumers agreed to recommend NikePlus.com to a friend

When was the last time your marketing campaign yielded a 40% conversion-to-sales ratio?

I rest my case.

Now, if you STILL haven’t done so, it’s time to go ahead and vote for the Genius’ presentation here.

The Secret to Overnight Viral Marketing Success

Catchy title, no?

Utter horseshit, yes?

YES!

I’ve said it before—and I’ll probably have to say it a zillion times again before anyone listens: YOU CAN’T CREATE “VIRAL.”

Viral is the happy by-product (or the unfortunate side-effect, depending on your perspective) of a campaign that artfully blends 6 key ingredients:

  1. Value
  2. Fun
  3. Creativity
  4. Timing
  5. Distribution
  6. Magical pixie dust

Ok, I’m kidding about ingredient #6. But the other five are not optional—they’re MUST-HAVEs. And they’re anything but “one size fits all”.

Recently, I had a client look me straight in the eye and say, “We need some good viral. And we need it FAST.” Some time between my desire to laugh hysterically—and cry hysterically—I found a moment to Tweet about my frustration with this ridiculous and ubiquitous request.

Here’s a quick sampling of the responses I got:

@mdurwin: Did you here this: Client asked for a viral video, I collected best ones showing kick to the groin, then asked for volunteers.

@meggiepoo: amen sister. i love it when a client says “i want to make a viral video.” it’s so adorable i want to smoosh their cheeks.

@mdaniel79: you mean there’s not a “Create viral campaign” key on your keyboard?

Sadly, no, my Mac did not come with the “create viral campaign” key. Perhaps if I upgrade my operating system?….

The next time a marketing pro or agency tells you they “do viral,” my suggestion is to run away. Fast. Or, just for giggles, ask them to show you the “create viral campaign” key on their keyboard.

Because it just doesn’t work that way. Your campaign might be brilliant, original, artful… but have no intrinsic value to the target audience—and it wont ‘catch’.

Or it could be immensely valuable but poorly distributed (read: Facebook aint a silver bullet)—and it wont catch.

It might even be useful AND strategically distributed… but boring as a conference room full of narcoleptics. If you don’t have all 5 of the first 5 ingredients… you’d better get yourself some pixie dust or kiss that promotion goodbye.

And speaking of promotion… let’s pause for a brief moment of shameless self-promotion, shall we?

The Genius is more than happy to help you—yes, even YOU—whip up some “really good viral, really fast”. So to speak.

At the very least, I’m happy to knock some sense into your boss/colleagues/clients about what viral really is and demystify the process of crafting a campaign that has the essential ingredients, and therefore, the potential to generate “tech-fueled word-of-mouth momentum” (a.k.a. BUZZ).

Gotta run… phone’s already ringin’…!