The Secret Diary of a Bonafide Marketing Genius

Honestly, I’ve never even heard of Durex… then again, I’m not exactly their target market. But this little piece of marketing genius practically made me pee myself. It’s NSFW, but then that’s true about most things I post on this blog, right?

Note: Turn up the volume when you watch this, the sound effects are precious.

Going off-the-grid for a bit. Wish I could say I was heading to Bora Bora or some other remote, tropical island… but the truth is I’ve been kidnapped by small, angry people who have taken away all my high-tech devices and are forcing me to “sing Christmas carols,” “play board games,” “build snowmen” and perform various other bizarre, old-fashioned family rituals.

Completely evil, don’t you agree?

If their sinister plan works, you wont see or hear from The Genius until early next year.

So, until then… be safe. Be smart. And watch out for these guys:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KeIcQ0scouc]

This is what they meant when they said, “A picture is worth a thousand words.”

It’s not a bird. It’s not a plane. It’s… Ad Guy.

[I particularly enjoy their approach to making copies. Thanks, "Marc with a C."]

A lot of folks still don’t “get” Twitter. [And Twitter, meanwhile, still doesn't "get" revenue... but that's another story.] But personally, the Genius L.O.V.E.S. it.

Crowd-sourcing, networking, buzz marketing, and pure entertainment are the top 4 reasons that I personally heart the #1 micro-blogging tool. Here’s another one:

True story.

Earlier this week, I discovered a very nice, comprehensive deck put together by the folks at Ogilvy [I know, surprised me, too!] called Twitter for Business. You might also want to check out this post for some excellent tips on getting personal value out of Twitter; and this post on how not to let corporate lawyers f**k up a good Twitter thang.

Unless you plan to go off the grid sometime soon, I wholeheartedly suggest you take the time to at least edu-macate yourself. And if/when you do start tweetin’, be sure to say hello.

[slideshare id=745515&doc=ogilvypr360ditwitterwebinar-1226501475706032-9&w=425]

I hate to give away possibly the best line Jack Nicholson has ever uttered in his annoyingly long career… but the Genius has had it up her nipples in bad news and gloomy coverage of foreclosures, layoffs and whatnot.

Okay, so the economy is in the crapper. And? Must we spend all day obsessing over the past or the future while vehemently ignoring the present?

How about we all just hug?

No?

A good laugh then?

Allow me to offer up these light-hearted jabs at everyone’s favorite industry:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gYEf8XZKlUU]

Not a ‘Few Good Men’ fan? Okay, how about Charlie Brown [who incidentally turns out to be quite the ladies' man]:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cnxSEg8pQlw]

There, now don’t you feel better?

I know everyone and her brother has written about the unbelievably savvy, effective marketing efforts of Team Obama… and as a Genius, I hate to jump on an already-crowded bandwagon. But, the facts are the facts. I must give credit where credit is due.

And so, Team Obama… my hat’s off to you.

Hey, that rhymed! Let’s hug

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjXyqcx-mYY]

Before you start, make sure you’ve nailed down your Great Concept. Like so:

Now, for the ruining!

STEP 1:

STEP 2:

STEP 3:

VOILA! You are now the proud creator of total sh*t!

Why does this have to happen? Is it “too many cooks in the kitchen” syndrome (a.k.a. Design by committee)? Blindness? Tourette’s?

Don’t get me wrong—I understand the pressure to include key information and squeeze every drop out of every piece of marketing collateral.

But ultimately…at what cost?

“After all the statistics and calculations
are formulated the one element that breathes
life into marketing is good design.”
-Steve Jobs, Co-founder, Chairman & CEO of Apple, Inc.

Amen!

***

(PS. The above concept & graphics were pulled from this presentation by wpchilds. Worth a look!)

Because he writes things like this:

Note to Bill Gates
I’ve done all my Windows updates, Bill, but when I type “Obama” (as immediately above and preceding) I get the infamous wavy red underlining—which suggests that I replace Obama with “Osama.”

(from a December 10, 2008 blog post)

And like this:

Measure division-level bosses on “crazy-assed experiments” (plus Wexner Rule—no screw-ups is Black Mark); and Daniels Rule—”Reward excellent failures, punish mediocre successes” (!!!)

(from The New Old Basics slide presentation)

There are few Geniuses out there [ahem] as outspoken, colorful, or timeless as Mr WOW! himself. If you’re not a fan yet, you should be.

Isn’t that refreshing?
[source = The BEAST: America's Best Fiend]