The Secret Diary of a Bonafide Marketing Genius

Yes, that’s right, Diary. The mile-high club. And I’m bragging about it. On the interwebs!

Why would I, a Genius, and a married woman with two f**king amazing children, [and a mouth like a sailor] brag about a sexual conquest at 30,000 feet?

Well… because it will get me GREAT SEO rankings, that’s why!

And also, I am not actually referring to a sexual conquest. I am referring to the fact that I am officially BLOGGING, emailing, Twittering, Facebooking, Flickring, and otherwise CONNECTING… at 30,000 feet.

I can’t get over it! Tears of joy stream down my Genius-y face.

But it’s more than that… it’s not just the ability to connect that I love about my current in-flight adventure. It’s the ENTIRE VIRGIN AMERICA EXPERIENCE!!!

I know, I know, I’ve raved about JetBlue before. And prior to this experience, JetBlue was totally my darling. Every time I took a JetBlue flight, I had to resist the urge to plant a giant, happy smooch on the kisser of the adorable pilot-in-question!!!

BUT NO LONGER. VIRGIN IS MY NEW LOVE. (Sorry, JetBlue—you’re still 2nd best, but in-flight wifi, a touch-screen food/bev menu, and a SEPARATE security checkpoint is hard to compete with).

Damn, even the in-flight coffee tastes good.

This, my dear Diary, is why I made that big fuss a few weeks ago about focusing more on creating amazing “experiences” instead of amazing “ads”. Who the f**k cares how amazing your advertising is anyway?

If your product sucks, amazing advertising is ONLY going to piss people off (when they discover the truth of your suckiness).

If your product is average, amazing advertising is going to ring hollow. And with all the “connectivity” people have these days (including a sick proliferation of 24/7-handy mobile devices… AND EVEN BLOGGING AT 30,000 FEET), it’s going to be hard to keep that one under wraps.

If your product is one of the rare AMAZING products in this world (and I can think of only 3 brands that have qualifying products at the moment: Apple, Virgin America, and ShamWow. But hey, I’m only 17 years old, so…), then amazing advertising is really unnecessary. Overkill. Excess. Do like the folks at Apple and ShamWow do and just SHOW people how awesome you are. Then keep pouring the real bucks into making more great products, thank you very much.

For the record, I’d also like to add that if I WERE going to have sex in an airplane bathroom, I would definitely want it to be a Virgin American airplane bathroom. They are simply bigger and cleaner than any airplane bathroom I’ve been in recently.

Now get your mind out of the gutter, Diary, and get back to work!